Monday, November 16, 2009

birthday and christmas coming up!!!

Im so excited. ill be 19 in 18 days ....I kno still young oh well

so me and Ryan are gonna do this big snowboard board bash at big bear...cant wait!

rent a cabin for 2 nites and jus have hella fun...its been pretty frustrating though trying to figure it all out because its right around the corner. Have to find a cabin, friends who want to go and can afford it etc etc. im just really hoping no one flakes and it goes as planned. Cant lie this shit is gonna be expensive... Newho i kinda been thinkin what gifts i want this year lol so lets see

music @ the moment

JoJo is back in action with the new leaked songs from "All i want is everything", shit is dope real talk. my favorite songs as of right now are

  1. I hate love

  2. Do watcha gotta do

  3. Fly away

Also Tynisha keli go two sounds playing alot lately in my speakers

  1. Wishful thinkig

  2. Conversation with God

real talk like thier music always relates to my life real talk, I just get lost in the words sometimes and felt the need to share!

girly ways

So alots been on the brain, and been needing to let some of these feelings out and remembered i had a blog site that i never used lol. So the truth is alot is going on, no not all bad just situations i guess im putting myself in. Any who so i usually have this mind like a guy i mean, my friends be like damn you think like a nigga, but thats until i guess you can say i catch feelings and then im a girl again lol. Im guessing i have mu guyish ways is because i have an older brother who i learned from and a lot of other experiences i went through myself,heard about and/or seen. But back to the main reason for this blog is im stuck in about two situations; one being school like why am i fucking around when i know my future is at stake, like no im not out acting dumb and shit im just not giving it my full attention and then its the boy thing. Like why am i letting myself fall into this place of vulnerability? the sad thing is im seeing bad signs, but my feelings are still there. All messed up right? well when its been forever since you felt this way its kinda cool,but then all bad when its bad signs...He's really not even my type but something about him has me in this situation so im stuck with the question why on my mind alot lately...have you ever just sat there and wondered why and could never come up with the answer? well thats how i am right now and i really should just be focusing on school work, so at the end of the day i guess i am just try my best to just let go of this and go back to my player days lmao and focus on school